Crazy things people call the police for

Over the years I have responded to a lot of calls requesting police assistance. Nothing surprises me anymore, at least not lately. After leaving some of these calls, I often wondered why they thought I would be able to help them, or why the thought of calling the police came to mind in the first place. Here are a few reasons people have called the police and I will start off with my favorite of all time:

• My wife wont have sex with me. - Man, if this was a true problem the police could help people with, do you know how many calls a night we would be getting from guys! I can imagine another stupid call steming from this one from women - My husband won't stop asking me for sex! I can also hear her saying, "Honey, I'm tired, please don't call the police tonight."
• He/she won't take his medicine.
• She won't let me watch what I want to on tv.
• My child doesn't want to go to school. - Ok, This one really agravates me and I have to rant about it a second. This kind of call makes me wish I could revoke their right to be a parent. I could write an entire blog just on people's lack of parenting skills. Anyway, here is what I like doing just to get the ball rolling so I can leave and get back to real police work. I like walking into the kids bedroom, grabbing them by their arm while they are sleeping, and asking the parent, "Have you tried this yet," as I pull the kid out of the bed and onto the floor. This usually works. Enough about that, back to the list.
• My husband won't give me any money. - My suggestion for all you ladies that my have this problem is - pawn his golf clubs or anything else that is near and dear to him, as long as it is community property and half yours. Then give him the pawn receipt and tell him if he wants his stuff, go pay the pawn shop. Problem solved and I'm sure the next time you ask for money, it may not be a problem. On a side note though, if you have to ask for money, shop around for a new husband. there are plenty out there that will treat you as an equal or better.
• There are kids playing basketball in the street. - Ok, if this is a neighborhood street with not a lot of traffic, SO WHAT! They could be breaking into your cars at night or something worse.

Ok, there are plenty more but that is enough to give you an idea of what police officers have to put up with on a day to day basis.